Greetings and Salutations to everyone.
I know that it has been forever and a day since I last posted. But working 3rd shift, going to school and the multitude of other things that I am doing don't allow me much free time.
Anyway, I have to make this post short as I am at work and need to get back to work, but I thought that I should let everyone know that I will be having a name change come October. If you don't get what I mean by that, I am saying that I am getting married.
Yes, I know, surprise surprise. I finally found my Mister Right, but I can't wait to get married and settle down. It will be good times I am certain.
Anyway, Andy (that's his name) and I are getting married October 7,2006. So wish me luck and say a prayer of thanksgiving for me.
Well all things considered, my life at present isn't too terribly bad. I mean I am busy as all get out. I am trying my hardest to get my stuff for student teaching done so that I can relax a little bit, but you know how that goes. It never goes as planned. But I will persevere, even if it kills me.
At present it looks like I will not be getting a call for the spring semester. Bummer is all I have to say. This means several things. That I will be moving back home for a semester to work either for my father (love you dad, but no thanks), substitute in the sheboygan school district (if they let me, darn IL certification), or get hired at as a chemist or biologist at one of the local companies (so was that one part As or two?). Also this means I will be living with my parents. As soon as christmas is over, I am so moving into the basement. I don't care if the day after, I spend all day putting the carpet squares down, if it means I get to move into my own private room that much faster. Basically, I am taking over my parents basement or at least a third of it. We will just have to see how this works out.
On a sad note, January 11th is not happening now. Darn airline prices. This makes me sad, but I just have to make it to April. Heck it has been two years, what is 5 months more?
That is all for now. Check later for further updates.
I have had it. I can't take it anymore. I am in the middle of my student teaching and because concordia hates me I am having to go home every weekend to work, while I am trying to write lesson plans, and get enough sleep that i can in some semblence function for classes.
On top of this I have an advanced chem class that is more then just a little challenge. I am tired of the struggle and am starting to be pulled apart.
Included with this my mother is having seperation anxiety. So when I go home to work, it is hard to get out of the house, which makes it hard to get back on Sunday to Concordia at a decent hour, which makes it difficult to get my lesson plans done at a decent hour, which makes it hard for me to get enough sleep to function.
Can we see how everything is just building on one another?
I so need this semester to be over and done with and me to be out on my own.
Where to begin? Good question.
This semester has been nothing, but a gigantic rollercoaster ride. Of course, I am the one that doesn't do well with rollercoasters. My tummy doesn't like them and this one has been hell.
So far, I arrived, screwed up a friendship and almost a second one, survived the four weeks of classes and the four weekends of going home and working, the beginning of student teaching, finding out I owe concordia money yet, and being sick for most of it.
I am tired of being sick and of dealing with shit. I am ready to be out of here and ready to move on with my life. Hopefully, I will be able to graduate and everything will turn out beautifully for me, even though I doubt it.
Oh well, here comes the next drop, take a deep breath and pray my tummy can take it.
So maybe I am not as bad a person as I thought I was about a week or so ago, but as for what I am that I am not exactly certain. As of last night I felt like a hollow shell striving to find some meaning behind myself. However that meaning wasn't there.
Since then I have slept on it and have come to a few truths. One, I have a disposition to be a caring individual. AKA, the mother effect as I like to call it. Two, I have a flare for music, writing, and sometimes being creative. Three, I worry way to much,(and I send thanks to a friend who kept telling me that) Fourth, and finally, that I am damaged in some ways. Broken and splintered, but not beyond repair. And with being broken, I have discovered that I have to like what I am before anybody else can. In order to do this, I have to repair myself by myself. Then let others see what they think.
This may not be the easiest task ahead of me, but sometimes it is the hard things in life that are the most rewarding.
Life is so fucked up. At present have decided that I am a two faced, hypocrite with many issues to work out. Needless to say have also made the decision that being single through this (or at least at present) is the best route, so am once again single. Short lived relationships seem to be my gift. What can I say?
Anyway, need to get back to work and then off to work on getting through boxes at home. School is almost here. Thank God.
Hehehe. I am so goofy at present. So much has happened since last I posted so I am going to give the quick overview. If you want more details ask for specifics please.
My parents had their 25th wedding anniversary happenings and things went off without a hitch. Nick and I sang while my cousin Heather accompanied on the flute. Mom cried. After the service the party was fun. Good food, good music, mom dancing the chicken dance as the head chicken, good times. And most importantly KARAOKE!!!
Then mom and dad were gone to springfield and st. louis for a week. In other words, Nick and I had free reign of the house. We did however keep the place neat and clean. He and I had a ton of fun. On top of that we went to Chicago and met up with Matt and Troy. We had a blast. Fun times.
Now I am just working and trying to get ready to go back to school. One week left. Where did summer go? But fun times were had. That is for certain. And I must say things are definately looking up.
Well it has been an eternity since I have given an update, so here are the basics for you. Grandpa Allen is doing much better, in fact he is almost off of his oxygen for during the day. That is awesome.
I am working by my father again and it is busy as always. At present I am playing supervisor in our silk screening department as the supervisor is out because of having back surgery. Hard work, but I am loving it.
Presently my bro is residing in the basement while we finish painting his room. I am getting to teach my family how to rag roll. Fun times for me. As soon as we get his room done though, the basement is mine.
Also mom and I are working on getting things for their 25th wedding anniversary ready. Needless to say, there is alot of work to be done yet, but we will persevere.
Finally, I am doing some dog sitting. In particular for pastor Osladil and his family. The dog is name Martin Luther, but they call him Marty for short. He is a husky/shephard mix, aka. big dog. This will definately be interesting to say the least.
Other then that I have just mainly been sitting at home hoping for company. Yet, not getting much. So hope you all are having a good summer and miss ya something fierce.
That's it I have had it. I want out. I need freedom. I need to just get away. *deep breath* ok, I better now.
Tonight has just been one of those nights. Everything as seem to come to a head for me in both the family/friend world. I have come to several realizations with my family. One being that I am here to assist and serve in the capacity they need without regards to what I might have planned for myself for the evening. I know this is sounding selfish already, but I have to say it is annoying as hell when you plan to go down to the lakefront and relax with a good book and you walk in the door and your mom hands you a list of things she needs to get done. Now if this happened occasionally, I wouldn't mind. In fact if she said to me the night before, Julie, tomorrow I am going to need some help around the house, I would have no problems cancelling my plans by myself, but it never happens that way. And even sometimes when it has to be last minute I don't mind dropping my plans to pitch in, it is just that sometimes I would like a little alone time or time to get out of my house and I just don't get it. Secondly, my family is nosey as hell. Example, a friend of mine calls me on my cell phone, I answer, talk and come back to living room to pick up whatever I was doing. Mom then asks who called, I say a friend from school. Most people would let it drop there, not my mom she wants to know which one. And I have told her that it bothers me and she still does it. Ok, so those are my big family rants. I know they aren't that big in retrospect, it just sometimes feels like they are.
When looking at my friends though, I feel very alone here at home, because I don't have that many close friends that live around here anymore. Most of my friends are scattered across several states. Ranging from IL to MI to IN to other locations. And even my friends who are close to me are sometimes 30 or more minutes away, so it isn't always feezable to just randomly decide to do something like we do at school. I just miss being closer to people. Though tonight one of my friend back home pissed me off. Oh, is Jeff going to get it when I get ahold of him. I can stand changes in plans if you have a good reason. I can even stand you standing me up once without calling if there was an emergency. However, doing it 2 to 3 times gets to be a bit much. I am irritated beyond belief with him at present. And in case you are going to ask if he had a good reason, for the first 2 no he didn't ,but for tonight I don't know yet cuz he still hasn't called me. Sorry it has been a bit of a rough night.
Anyway, just feeling more alone right know then usual and feeling very seperated from people. :-(